By: Man Up Podcast

By: Dr. Marty Klein

By: The Therapist / CAMFT

The “problem” of pornography is a strange phenomenon that should never have become as big an issue as Christian culture has made it to be. The problem is actually not the porn itself. Rather, it's our view of porn that's problematic. If our understanding and beliefs about sexuality were accurately based on scripture instead of cultural morals, the tragedies of abuse, divorce, resentment, potential addiction, moralistic shame, and other issues associated with porn, at least among professing Christians, would not be so epidemic as they are.

Surprisingly, God apparently isn’t concerned with porn (or masturbation) any more than he is about what you eat or wear. Otherwise, he would talk about it in scripture. Not that he isn’t concerned about it at all, but by comparison, his Old and New Testament commands about diet, worship, attire, and other things were far more prolific than those for self-stimulation and porn (which is nothing).

This subject matter isn't even a thing in the Bible. Porn, along with masturbation are never alluded to as issues at all. Ever. In that case, it is categorically safe to say that neither are a sin in God’s eyes. In fact, according to verses like Romans 4:15 and Isaiah 5:20, to call them sin in their entirety would actually be the real sin. And yet, people insist that God clearly condemns both, when never once does he say anything about them.

People, however, have a great deal to say about pornography and how it affects viewers and relationships. These moral champions present their best science, imploring listeners to fight against porn, calling it the "new drug," which it's not (porn and associated hormones are not drugs, and there's nothing new about them). Of course, porn does affect viewers and relationships, but it's not so much that “porn kills love” as it is that real addictions and purity culture kill love. Some of this science behind it has validity, but other pseudo-science and much of the dogmatic reasoning is no more than moralistic bias.

So why is pornography considered by many to be such a problem?

Christianity at large teaches that all forms of porn are sin. But frankly, this is flat out wrong. Some may be, but some also is not. Everyone from the Pope to cults teach that all porn is sinful, but that’s likely because it’s considered culturally immoral. Yes, porn is pervasive, no doubt, and of course legit addiction is extremely concerning. It's rampant in society and the reason why is obvious. People love to look at beautiful bodies. That's how God made us. What's not so obvious though is just who can and can’t be implicated for related sins.

One critically important point to grasp is the importance of implicating responsible parties for the real porn-related problems. Men are condemned for viewing porn (not by God, but by women and moralists), but no one confronts the religious, the neo-Gnostics, or the women and wives who hate their own bodies, in the process sexually sabotaging their own marriages. Their false sense of justification leaves many ladies looking like innocent victims and men looking like perverts. It's a lose-lose deal.

Women tend to greatly value security in an intimate relationship and frequently see porn as a threat to that. Many women, feeling threatened at this point, will put the onus on their man to meet their demands to stop behaving “badly” in accordance with their standard. And often, rightfully so. Many men are still really just boys who can shave. Those men need to grow up, take responsibility for themselves, serve their families and others, and love their woman in an understanding way (1 Peter 3:7). But equally, women also need to stop condemning men for being men, for viewing female beauty, and fearing that men may become sex addicts.

Many Christian women's standards for their men are not only high, but even higher than God's! Wives and others may try to condemn porn outright, but according to scripture, they cannot in any way justify their condemnation of simply viewing sexy people. There’s just no precedent in the Bible.

9 minutes

Everyone knows that, overall, smoking isn't good for health. It's addictive, smelly, it affects mood, appearance over time, it can cause cancer, emphysema and has other negative effects. Also, secondhand smoke is harmful to others. And yet, people still do it. Some even smoke until the day they die with seemingly little effect on their health, while others persist, knowing it’s slowly killing them.

With all its detriments, does God call smoking a sin? No. Could he have? Perhaps, but he didn’t. So then, should we call it a sin? Well, if he doesn't, then we certainly should not. Still, some continue to do so. Smoking may not be worth endorsing, but neither is it condemnable by Biblical standards. Ultimately, smoking is a Romans 14 issue and a matter of conscience. Pornography is like that.

Types of porn are like smoking in that neither are carte blanche sin. Though the pleasures that come from each are limited, people still crave them. In the apostle Paul's words, some may be "permissible," but they may not necessarily be "beneficial" - except for the enjoyment that some find in it. However, in addition to whether something is beneficial, we must also not be mastered by anything. As well, we should also obey the laws of the land when they don't conflict with scripture. That means that those who indulge must also be of legal age.

To be clear, there is certainly no need to promote pornography. It promotes itself well enough. But calling all types of porn sinful is not right either. Rather, like smoking, gambling, drinking and other things, it's an issue of conscience that requires wisdom.

A great number of Christians claim that watching pornography is wrong because viewing nudity or unmarried people on a screen having sex is exploiting them, or that it supports immorality. Again, simply seeing it is not sin. However, we should also consider what 1 Corinthians 13:6 has to say. It says that love does not delight in unrighteousness. But what is unrighteousness in our context? It is anything God prohibits in places like Leviticus 18 and 20, 1 Corinthians, and would also include engaging in online interactive sexual activity outside of marriage.

So where should we draw the line? Is it sinful to view partially clothed sex in a PG-13 movie that's implied or momentary, or does it need to be full hardcore nudity to qualify? How do we know, and who decides? What about married couples who video their sexual exploits? The book of Song of Songs is just that, but in poetry form. It's like a steamy romance novel in that way. It meets many requirements of literary porn, and in fact, God clearly wants us to read and visualize the couple in their most intimate moments, and then to even meditate on it. One could also try to argue that married couples doing porn for money are sinning. And some are definitely making money. However, others don't. Either way, the Bible doesn't conclude that watching or making certain types of porn is wrong. Often, it’s just a Romans 14 issue.

As for why people watch porn, most moral Christians probably don't even really understand the reasons behind it. Many believers would presume that men especially are sexually sinning perverts to varying degrees, having a serious lack of self-control, and that many secretly want to sleep around. They likely also hold the belief that once ogling of another woman has begun, coveting and sin are already present.

And yet, that’s often not the case. Again, the myth is that people who watch porn and masturbate do it because really they want to sleep with someone they shouldn't, but can't. This deeply held belief is problematic as it prevents reconciling biases with reality. The myth is then perpetuated and reinforced by continual moralistic dogma.

As a result, few people actually acknowledge the heart of why someone really looks at porn. More obvious reasons include visual gratification, vicarious fantasy, or simple curiosity, but a closer look reveals more detail.

Some people watch porn out of plain curiosity or simply because it's arousing. They have no intention to fantasize about or engage with those on a screen. These viewers are not seeking to participate or personally respond to a porn star, and do not have an emotional connection to what they're watching. In these instances, there's really no support in the Bible that God ever condemns such behavior. Jesus surely never did. And although he certainly taught that coveting another person is sin, he never condemned just simply looking at them for visual gratification.

Others watch porn because they use it as a visual aid to help them fantasize. They may use it generally as an aid, or they may have specific fantasies about sex with those on the screen or possibly someone else. Their intention is to visualize sharing a sexual encounter with someone because it can be arousing. But again, they have no intention to seek to interact with that person. The experience is purely platonic.

Just because someone has a fantasy though, doesn't mean they intend to act sinfully on that desire. One would be hard pressed to find anything anywhere in scripture that says plain sexual fantasy is wrong. Of course, it may not be beneficial at times. But it's also wrong to call it wrong (1 Timothy 4:4, Isaiah 5:20). Even then, it's unlikely that a genuine Christian would look to make their fantasy encounter into a sinful reality. And unless you're considering how to do that, verses about sexuality do not prohibit you from using just your eyes to gratify yourself sexually.

Perhaps the real dangers inherent to porn are inciting lust (aka desire) for sin, the ease of becoming mastered by it, as well as the likelihood to dull one’s desire for real sex. That’s why, like anything, it should be viewed with moderation. The pornographic media itself is not the issue, but it's how we deal with it that causes all kinds of trouble.

Barbie dolls

Matthew 5:28 is a notoriously misinterpreted verse with a complicated history, and a reputation of being a marriage killer.

Its rationale is dubious. Regardless, God tells us to not be “mastered” by anything, including sex. What then shall we do?

Everyone knows that the Bible says sexual lust is wrong. Except when it's not. After all, Jesus lusted, so it can’t be that bad.

We all have our own opinions on porn. But defining what it is and finding what God says about it is not as easy as you may think.

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By: Sir Roger Scruton
Directed by Louise Lockwood for BBC Two

Sexual self-pleasure is a gift from God. Yet many Christians continue to condemn the practice. Why?

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Reading all this, you may think it’s a justification for porn and those who view it, but that would be incorrect. It's absurd to justify anything for which we already have freedom in Christ. That would be like trying to justify food, exercise, work, or something else potentially “addictive” that we are already free to enjoy. Remember, although God does condemn certain sexual activities, there are many he never even takes issue with. There is no need to justify those things which God never condemns as sin. The problem is not with porn itself, but rather a religious and moralistic view of it.

Deliverance from the “problem” of porn is not found in anything or anyone except Jesus. Our purity, righteousness, and joy do not rely on whether we have enough white-knuckle willpower, nor on our own best efforts to battle sin. Neither does it depend on eliminating lingerie ads or being sexually accountable to others. None of those are the object of our faith. Rather, it rests on Jesus and the work he's already done for us. He is the Truth, and his truth is what sets us free.

"where there is no law there is no transgression"
Romans 4:15b